More pictures and epic video below!
Here we are starting our first Latin America tour. We like to write as if we are highly professional people. Hence, the dot-org on our website. Really what you are reading is just a blog written by two best friends on wheels. These two Globerollers began their travel writing together one hot night in Istanbul in May of 2015. We had decided to do some backpacking together and since Madeline insisted on taking her rollerblades with her for the journey, Roxy decided to bring her wheelchair in order to remain in rolling solidarity with her amiga. Nine-countries-in-five-weeks-later, we had something we thought was pretty special. We were writing about our chaotic adventures, making our smothers have mini heart attacks, and posting silly pictures we took along the way. But more importantly, we were writing about the insanity of traveling on wheels. It definitely has it's perks, but it's no picnic. Our blog is a resource for us to share about the benefits, the humor, and the bumps along the way when traveling on wheels (pun intended). We hope that this blog continues to inspire other Globerollers alike to go on their own adventures. And as for the globewalkers, we hope this can give you some perspective on this not so Globerollers friendly world. But above all, we want you to laugh until you poop a little in your pantalones.
Madeline is currently in the Amazon jungle of Peru making music with a Latin Lover. Roxy started experiencing some FOMO (urban dictionary can be your reference) and decided to roll her way down south to join her globerolling life partner (platonic?). She arrives in the hot jungle and is lifted out of the airplane by four Peruvian hombres. Madeline and her Latin Lover meet Roxy at the gate where her chariot awaits. We have recruited a moto taxi to take us to Roxy's hotel. Just a quick brief on what a moto taxi is. It is exactly what it sounds like it is.
Madeline and her Latin Lover had gone to every hotel the night before in search of the perfect Roxy abode. Madeline's newest technique for checking how wide door frames are has her very excited. She puts her fists together, sticks her elbows out, and sees if her arms can fit through the doorway. Latin Lover drives Madeline to each hotel in this little town and watches her as she marches through every bathroom doorframe with her elbows out and proud, then turning around and shaking her head in disapproval. It still isn't clear if Latin Lover ever understood what Madeline was doing. But alas, they did find a cozy casa de Roxy.
We roll up to Roxy's hotel and toward her room. There was one problem with this room we had found. A smallish step at the front door. But this was the only room that passed the elbow test so we decided to build a ramp and make it work. Latin Lover got on all fours with 7 pieces of wood in various shapes and sizes, and started piecing a ramp together. In the end, we had a beauteous puzzle-ramp that worked well for Roxy and made Madeline fall almost every time. For this reason, Roxy insisted that Madeline use the ramp.
Day 2 in the jungle Roxy and Madeline head over to Herbert the Pervert's house. Herbert the Pervert is an ayahuasca shaman here in Tarapoto. He is currently traveling and has let Madeline's hot gringa friends stay at his place while he is away. Madeline doesn't know him, but she has been hanging hard in his house while he is away. She feels a slight twang of guilt for using the nickname she has heard over and over again around this town but alas, it's catchy. At Herbert the Pervert's house, Madeline's hot gringa friends tell Roxy all about ayahuasca. They speak with such devotion to the plant; calling the drug "medicine", calling their hallucinations "connecting with the mother", and referring to the shitting and puking that comes with drinking this plant "necessary purges". Madeline decides to stay away from the "medicine" as Roxy gets more and more curious about it.
Next we all head to Latin Lover's house in the jungle to hang with the family. Roxy hops on Latin Lover's motorcycle while Madeline takes Herbert the Pervert's animal printed jeep with her hot gringa friends and Roxy's beautiful wheelchair in the trunk. Madeline watches her wheelless friend bumping down the jungle path in front of the jeep and ponders on the idea of getting into Roxy's wheelchair and holding onto the back of the jeep. No one in the car supports this genius idea so alas, Madeline must ride via the backseat.
The next day we call up Madeline's loco friend Geenss and ask him if he'd like to go on an adventure. Geenss is always game for fun and he quickly replies "si!" Latin Lover comes along too. We all meet up at casa de Geenss and plan a motorcycle ride through the jungle. Roxy leaves her wheelchair behind and hops on Geenss' motorcycle. Madeline follows suit. She hops on to Latin Lover's motorcycle barefoot, her rollerblades crying in Geenss' house as she waves goodbye. We twist and turn through the jungle, spotting snakes on the road and colorful birds in the trees. We see plants large enough to devour us bursting through weeds in the ground and branches in the trees. We are in la selva!!!
We end up at a Laguna where we lounge for hours. Madeline and Latin lover occupy a hammock while Geenss and Roxy sit by the Laguna, trying hard to have a conversation. Geenss speaks zero English. Madeline watches while Geenss mimes out action packed stories to tell Roxy as Roxy nods along, faking an understanding of him and muffling her laughter. Roxy cannot get out of the plastic chair by the river and Madeline in solidarity, simply cannot get out of this hammock. So Geenss and Latin lover must bring all food, beverages, and coconuts to these wheelless ladies. The sun sets and we drive home to retrieve our neglected wheels. We tell our wheels how much we missed them, but they know...they know we had fun and they're pissed we didn't bring them along for the ride.
Friday night comes along and it's time for a fiesta. Madeline gathers up her amigas and tells them to come to the disco tonight, and to bring all the wheels they have. At midnight, we meet them at the disco on wheels, ready to party. Madeline and two others are on rollerblades (patinas in española) and Roxy has brought her wheelchair. The rest of the crew failed us and we made that apparent to them, only dancing with fellow rollers and avoiding eye contact with those on foot. The photographer at the disco came and took photos of us, posting them the next day on the web to promote how sexy their club is. If you haven't come to this conclusion on your own, let us inform you that wheels are SEXY. In case you still aren't convinced, we give you this poem:
Wheels are the new heels.
Wheels are the butts of bra-zeel.
Wheels are the orange's spicy peel.
Wheels are the billion dollar deal.
Wheels are the pornstar's reel.
Wheels are a lover's ideal.
Wheels are pure sex appeal.
Saturday we head out to San Roque, a village one hour into the jungle where Madeline first came to for her artists residency. She and Latin Lover are meant to play some music at a festival there and catch up with her jungle family. We hop in a collectivo (a car that seats 5 but holds about 12) and ride. Madeline's rollerblades are on foot and Roxy's wheelchair is gracefully chillin in the trunk with a Dalmatian. Anything can happen in the jungle. In the car, our sleep deprivation and muscle exhaustion compel us to write The Twelve Days of Globerolling.
The driver wants to leave us by the plaza, but we take one look at the bumpy, dirt-road-hills and told that girl to take us down to the river where the festival is meant to be. The rain begins to fall just as we topple out of the collectivo and we run for shelter under a tarp where food is being served. All the stray dogs have the same idea. We are greeted by 20+ mutts who cozy up to us immediately, hoping that later down the road we will be serving them our leftovers. Their wishes came true.
You guessed it; the jungle is not accessible. Who do we complain to about this? Where do we leave our bad review? Wet dirt roads and wild grass cling to our wheels and beg us to fall. We sit by the river to play music and watch the current. Roxy chills in a plastic chair while Madeline attempts to sit on a rock and let her feet air off. She ends up with poison ivy delicately gracing each butt cheek. Music is played and nature is taken in. After a wild day in the jungle, Roxy hops in the last and only collectivo to leave San Roque that day and Madeline hops on Latin Lover's motorcycle, rollerblades perpetually clinging to her feet.
In the next blog, read about Roxy's ayauaska and river rafting adventures on wheels!